ABDILLAH SM : POETRY - FREEDOM

freedom

given the space
fly my dragonfly
given the time
without anguish
waiting shy
flap your wings
towards the sky
sprited with
my love
and
cry

dramatic
moment
departure
:::
drifting away
teribble
capture

ABDILLAH SM - SHORT STORY - ( an extract ) MY BELOVED

........... As soon as l reached home that night l rushed to the fridge. l took three fresh oranges and started peeling them. Carefully slicing the juicy, while separating the seeds away l began transferring it nicely into the mixer. Adding some ice cubes and honey syrup, l started the machine. Mmmmm, nice smell and beautiful to look at. Salivary me.

‘don't you want some, darling?’, l asked while turning to look behind me. You are dreaming! As if someone is faithful enough. Hehehe. l was laughing at myself. Really, l was laughing. Believe me. l was still laughing long after that. Why don't l stop this?, l shouted at myself. Tears started to fall on my hands. Hey! What’s this?, l asked myself, still laughingly. It surprised me to realize that l was eventually crying my heart out. That l was keeping the pain and the sorrow while l walked myself home for five kilometers, in the darkness of the wet monsoon night. A feeling of serious rejection was there. O, that why l was so sad. The rejection. Ya, the sadness. Only then l began to feel the freezing and the heating effects of a real disappointment crawling mischievously in my chest. It was just starting to squeeze my heart.

That’s how sad l was. Extreme sadness, it really was. It effected me silently; unknowingly disabling the instinct to differentiate laughter and weeping. .................

( an extract from a short story, ‘My Beloved’, Abdillah SM – 1996 )

ABDILLAH SM : POETRY - LAND OF GRIEF

land of grief

(medan duka)

the moon fractures

across crimson heavenly skies

star glittering brightly

celebrate in the land of grief

night’s desolation and isolation

dwell in spiritual stability

the world is full of angst,

melancholic voices humming from the ruins

holy verses beckoning far into the distance

but joy splinters and drops

onto this tortured land

- one memorial park

at dawn

screams erupt

splitting open skies

desecrating bedroom calm

and earth starts shaking,

a disaster, and yet through all these

a mother smiles

ABDILLAH SM : POETRY - MAHA JIWA

maha jiwa

i

burden of physic

neglects the wandering soul

dizziness with no alert

trapped about

the wheel of life.

ii

lust fidgeted body

layers of masks

covering humiliation

being spruced but

wild ruthless fool;

contradicting

desire in pure search

intrinsic stream

field of meaning.

iii

meditation even dream

the soul sneaks

to batter obstructions

escaping a green bayan

cracking prisons of

ammara

lawwama

mulhama

mutma’inna

racing the speed light

flapping wings to submit

lulling the longing soul

reconciling the desire

peak of lust.

iv

alas, the restless soul

prayers key to the heart

my recitation

adulating

thanking.

holy wandering

leaving physical burden

dunya shahawat hawa

adventuring eminent nostalgia

penetrating prisons of

mutma’inna

radiyya

mardiyya

layers of possibilities

collecting granules grace

tracking the sweet reality

saffiya

the pure self

embracing

maha jiwa

love

eternity.

2/1/2009

ABDILLAH SM : POETRY - THE RICE FIELD

the rice field

(for Adnan Zaki Bunyamin)

i have a strong desire

walking in watery field

where padi grows in fertile

leaves supple in the breeze

swaying and waving the spirit

of the malay

walking through the era

revolution of the race.

rice pounded from padi

is our prime food

vapour of fragrant rice

odourously comfortable to touch

with a lump of nipah salt

rubbing on the melting

engkabang oil

slides the mixture with

beautiful dreams of independence

battering the barriers

fortunes, politic and

economy.

for generations

we enjoy product of the field

ripening padi

of granny’s locality

keeping her name within

my longing mind

ironically as

nostalgia peaked height

the buffaloes vanished to tractor

the fields broadened by hectares

reality of a rice field disappeared in

the eye of heart

where upon my cousin

sketched a history

heir of nation’s granny

stepped on the moon.

1/1/2009

glossary

padi

nipah

engkabang

from the original in bahasa melayu

entitled: sawah dan bulan by Abdillah SM

translated by Abdillah SM